Conversations August 6, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Friday, August 6, 2010

5:40 AM. Starting to get that old feeling, time passing. And I can see that in fact I have reached the point where the accumulated material, undigested, is starting to overwhelm me. Time for the analytical work that will pull it all together.

My friends Dale and joy, visiting from Arizona, to be added to my Papa list. And still I get the feeling — get the material out there. And in return I say, what’s the hurry, all of a sudden?

What do you tell people in similar circumstances?

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Conversations August 3, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

3 AM. I was dreaming of dad. A very pleasant dream, centering on his cheerfulness. He had so much stuff to be gone through. He was gone and I dreaded to start going through it, drawers full of stuff packed tight, to be emptied out into shopping bags and assorted. But that’s all I remember except realizing how cheerful and helpful he’d been, and how unappreciated.

— I lie in bed and keep thinking of the murder of John F. Kennedy; Dealey Plaza; the crossfire, all that. Why? Does somebody want to talk about that? And if so, what? (And why?)

Nobody? Then why keep me awake?

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Conversations July 25, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Sunday, July 25, 2010

After 6 AM. As I consider this project in some dismay, I am starting to realize that your goal is as much to get me to move into analytical mode as it is to get out any particular information. Am I right?

Why ask, when you have realized? Of course it is always good to have multiple complementary objectives to be pursued by any line of thought or action. We like efficiency.

Your words about balance being the ability to move certainly struck home with at least one reader, who is herself a dancer, and who explained why it is so.

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Conversations July 22, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Thursday, July 22, 2010

5:30 AM. Yesterday, as I was very aware, was Hemingway’s birthday. Who would have thought he would come to be so much to me? Finished Reynolds’ volume 1, and started re-reading [Jeffrey] Meyers, slowly, which is more interesting this time than the first time. Have not moved in Baker, waiting to get my questions [to Hemingway] in.

As I have talked to people about what I am doing, the question about certainty has presented itself, or rather, my old knowledge that certainty isn’t possible, only resonance. It’s still conceivable that I’m making all this up, regardless how convincing the contacts feel. And just as I could never prove it to anyone else, neither could I prove it to myself. I am left with Jesus’ test — by their fruits you will know them. So far the fruits are joy as I come to each day’s task, enthusiasm and joy, and insight. Or so it seems. But of course I am aware of the danger of leading myself and others astray.

Continue reading Conversations July 22, 2010

Conversations July 5, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Monday, July 5, 2010

5 AM. Bad night, though again not asthma. (Did need to use the spray, though, twice.) Up regardless, like clockwork, having no idea of the time.

Talked a good bit about this process, to several people. Wanting to add people to the list, maybe a couple I have forgotten. Ate just a little too much — not much too much, just a little. Not too bad.

All right, ready again. Your words yesterday struck several of my friends, as I thought they would. One said she had tears in her eyes — the tears of those finally being seen and validated.

Yes, and you’ll notice that more than one person asked you the theme of the emerging book. You gave it as more or less that everyone should become conscious of their connection, but that isn’t really the theme. Neither is it that everyone should know how much more they are than they think — desirable though both these things may be.

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Conversations July 2, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Friday, July 2, 2010

5 AM, nearly. Yesterday’s session was wonderful material. Why did it knock me down so — for most of the day, in fact? Or was that unrelated?

You were particularly on the beam yesterday, and so paradoxically enough it came to look like it took more out of you in a shorter time — come to think of it, you might phrase it, “more came through you in a shorter time,” and your body paid a certain price. We’ll watch for you.

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Conversations July 1, 2010

Posted on by Frank DeMarco

Thursday, July 1, 2010

6 AM. All right, I’m ready if you’re ready — or if you- all are ready. Papa, being that tomorrow is the anniversary of yourself-decided transition — and next year makes 50 years since then! — how about if you start?

There will be a time when 50 years as a space of time doesn’t impress you as it does now. Consider how your reaction is different now from even 20 years ago, and then try to see yourself over here for 50 years.

Continue reading Conversations July 1, 2010