June 4, 2007
Rita watched the presidential debates – Democratic – from New Hampshire last night. Two hours of debate moderated by Wolf Blitzer. I can’t help thinking the whole thing smacks of fantasyland somehow. Not just the debate but the political process. Thinking that way, I didn’t listen to it. But not listening to it, how do I have a right to an opinion? But if I had listened to it, I’d likely have been sucked into it. No win. Still I stay with my position. How many, many hours of debate have I watched, how many hours of argument have I listened to – and how much of it was worth anything?
If my work exists – if there is anything worthwhile that I am capable of doing – it isn’t politics. But is it writing?
Look, you are nearly 61 years old. In one way it is good and promising and even admirable that you are still looking forward – but in another it borders on ridiculous. You don’t need to look forward, wondering. Just look backward, and count. What have you done, regardless what you thought you were getting ready to do? What gave you joy, produced a result, brought you any formal recognition?
Work in the black box, doing programs, working with Rita, communicating all of it, interacting with other explorers.
Yes, all of that. And your work at Hampton Roads.
Yes, encouraging authors, shaping books, finding new ones. Reading manuscripts – for a long time. Organizing things at Hampton Roads for a while. Interacting with famous people, people who had achieved something.
So there is your base. You have also enjoyed photography and are now enjoying pottery – artistic expression. So write your novel and move on to the next things that show the characteristics you are good at and enjoy.
Encouraging people in psychic stuff?
Write, lecture, sit out in the woods again. Think more, re-read old novels less, unless you want to. Work only because you enjoy it and it leads you somewhere.
Everything you’re saying seems true and yet it
Oh. I was about to say “and yet it seems impossible to make it happen, to find the next step” – and of course I can just call it.
Of course. Do you think that Napoleon or Hitler had to call up opportunities? No, they had to respond to them, having first become aware of them, having first been ready for them. It is as true of Emerson or St. Francis or John Lennon or Mohammed Ali – or Mohammed, for that matter. Your life comes to you, one way or another. And what comes to you tomorrow depends on what you do with today.