Session six of ten
Friday, October 20, 2000
Health situation seems to have turned a corner – subject to change, of course. I was in a pretty bad way late in the evening of Sunday the 15th. Happened to be emailing, happened that Kelly and I were on at the same time. I asked for her help, which she promised to deliver. About five minutes later, no more, I felt a change with a sudden jolt, and was able to get a reasonable amount of sleep that night for the first time in many nights. The following night, again I felt a sudden shift; asked her the next morning if she had worked on me and she said she had. Nancy, similarly, was working on my behalf every so often, frequently in the early morning hours. And she had a dream about me – a message to deliver – that I mention during this session. Nice to have friends!
And of course, as soon as one things subsides, another begins. Wednesday at work an incautious movement led to what feels like a pulled muscle in my right shoulder blade, which makes standing, sitting, lying down very uncomfortable. So now what’s going on? Stay tuned. But Thursday night was very comfortable, in terms of breathing. Yet I began to have just a slight wheeze about an hour before I was scheduled to start the session. Again, health seems integrally connected with these sessions.
Also – no connection? – yesterday I received the typeset pages for Muddy Tracks for me to proof. That will be out in the world soon. Will it be well received? Will it do some good? Again, stay tuned; yet I suspect that these sessions themselves may contain material that could contribute toward a book. (What about the one I am already contracted for?)
The differences between Skip and me came up in my telling him that I lived in history, I wasn’t just a history buff as though it were a hobby. As he thinks in science, so I think in history. It was an interesting thing, to realize that he and I commonly communicate not in his or in my preferred language, but in a common third language, a sort of pidgin-English. And typing this up it occurs to me that of course, this is true of all of us. It’s a wonder one person can even ask another for directions.
And, finally, in our pre-briefing, I told Skip I was concerned lest I begin making stuff up just to construct something. He reminded me (for the how-many-thousandth time?) that everybody, at all levels, keeps asking themselves, “am I making this up” and I remembered that in fact my usual answer is, “say I am making it up; why am I making this up rather than something else?” So, into the black box, proceeding as usual on faith and recklessness.
F: For the first time during the resonant tuning, I was aware that the other guys – The Guys Upstairs, whatever – are here; they’re right here at a different vibratory level, and I couldn’t help thinking, “help me to see you, or help me to communicate more directly.” And I got back, “what do you think we’ve been doing?” But it’s almost as though I should be able to see them soon. A sense of them here as ghostly presences; ghostly only because we don’t see the same. [pause] Quite grateful for everything they’ve given. And give.
F: A remarkable thing. [pause] And I had a sudden coldness in my chest, and I thought of Bertram, and I remembered that Nancy had waked up from a dream with the instruction to tell me to be careful not to take that illness. The guys have been working with her over the last couple of years sometimes, to give me messages. [pause] Again the nice quiet sense of the crystal building, flowing I guess I should say. [long pause] Again my lower legs are just freezing cold. It’s interesting how when I’m used to it, I’m perceiving it differently now.
S: Knowing that this is an energy experience, you might want to ask Guidance why it is that it feels cold.
F: Okay. [pause] The analogy we use is bone-chilling, and there’s something about the way I feel cold in my bones, that’s why I’m feeling it as cold. It’s a sense of penetrating all the way to the middle, you know? All the way through. [pause] We would never feel heat as extending into the interior. We feel heat as more our extremities than anything else, however uncomfortable we may or may not be, but cold we feel as penetrating within, and that’s the sense that they – I don’t know if it’s what they mean to convey, or can’t help conveying, let’s put it that way.
S: I find it interesting too that in the shaman’s journey there’s a reduction to the bone and then rebuilding. But I understand sort of the meaning of what you’re saying, is that whatever’s happening is very deep.
F: All the way. Yeah, that’s it. And all the way – now, take this for what it’s worth – at right angles to the three dimensions, so that it’s deeper than we know. [pause] All the way up to my elbows now. Two thirds finished. [pause] I can only describe this cold as like a glow. Which isn’t something I would ordinarily used. It’s like a glowing cold now. [pause] And I get that I should be remembering this when I’m not in here, and using this technique. I can create my own crystal at will. Yeah, I know, I’m doing it anyway, but that’s – now they’re turning into editors.
S: Maybe it’s not in remembering to do it, but remembering that you are doing it.
F: Well I think they mean, this would be a useful technique to do periodically. Just as you said in when you were hooking me up in here that we don’t take time for ourselves, this is a very – this is a communications mode, this is a – Oh, isn’t that interesting? This – you know, you could make an equivalent to a rebal, but this is a way of – going on the air. Transmitting. At least to the other two. [pause] I’m getting a flavor of their usual benign impatience that we can’t remember from one moment to the next. [laughs] They’re going, “yeah, now that you’re back in the box, you remember what it’s like. Why don’t you remember when you’re not in the box?” [pause] About up to my neck now, more or less. [pause] They point out that there’s a tension in my life between making things happen and letting things happen, and I should just slow down a little bit, instead of getting impatient for something to happen. [pause] And so I’ll just float for a bit. [pause]
S: I’m going to change the frequencies to focus 12, so just let this experience grow in its own way.
F: [long pause] Crystal’s complete. [pause] It’s like the palms of my hands are trying to determine what they’re lying on. They’re questing about without moving. “Am I on board? Am I on stone? Am I on – well, they don’t even have an idea that it’s a waterbed. They’re sort of inconclusive between stone and wood right now. [pause]
There was just a flash of a picture a little while ago of a little girl on a sidewalk, and her face was all contorted in a sort of a gleeful, like a – it was like trying to do a fright mask, but gleefully. I can’t do better. No context to it. [pause]
I guess I have a request, and that is that you-all make yourselves more known to me and help me to get in better communication with you. [pause] And at the same time I’ll continue to work with you as best I can. [pause]
I’m tilted quite clearly to the left, and it’s as though I’m in a sort of an elongated – um, like a recliner chair, but more like it’s on a spaceship; like a – what do you call it? You know, what a pilot would sit in. [pause] It’s like the ship is making a turn. That’s what it feels like. It’s an analogy, but –
Leaning into it, that’s what it is. Leaning into the turn. [pause] An impression of speed and that change of motion. [pause] Like I’m pushing back with my right hand against whatever I’m against. [long pause] A real pain in my right wrist. Connected with this, whatever this is doing. [long pause]
[continued next post, 6-1-07]