[As I re-read old entries, I am noting those that I think will be most valuable to people today. This is one.]
Thursday, September 2, 2021
3:30 a.m. Cool enough (63 degrees outside) that I need a robe and enjoy its warmth. A touch of unease in my lungs. Must be September.
You said to continue to remember the four possible continuations of the theme of community within Life More Abundantly: the specialization that each of us is; the meaning of life; or of our life; the nature of the strands. I had to look back, to remember. I can see that remembering helps keep the focus. Still can’t quite see why it is necessary from your end, but I’m taking your word for it.
Within the general theme of consciousness, we might say a word about depression and ways to counter it.
Finding “What Dreams May Come” on Netflix last night, when I needed it.
Yes indeed. You suspected a bit of steering, there, to bring it to your attention.
I did and I do, not that I mind.
It was a form of re-reading a familiar comforting story, suitable for when your energy was low enough that a movie was easier to absorb than reading a book would have been.
I do appreciate it. And of course every time we see something, more layers of association may have been added, deepening the experience or at least widening the connections one makes. Robin Williams having killed himself, a sense of the pain he lived through, gratitude for that talent and ability to express complex emotions. Then Max von Sydow, the sympathetic character he plays so well, as in “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” And Cuba Gooding, Jr., who I saw in “A Murder of Crows,” another favorite, all since the first time I saw this film so many years ago. And I remembered watching the movie originally, associating it with Lifeline, and Ken Eagle Feather, and John Nelson and Hampton Road, so many things.
And that is life in a nutshell, a continuing growth of associations, all logically connected in one way or another, by emotional logic if not in what we might call thinking logic. The man who watched the movie last night was not the same as the ones who had watched it previously, so although the movie was unchanged, its effect was somewhat different. Watching it connected you now to other things. Watching it later would connect you to this now, probably. But watching it before also connected you to this now, as watching it “now” connected you forward as well as backward. You will find that easy to accept or difficult or perhaps impossible: It is a matter of temperament and circumstances, as much as anything. In any case it is a good example of how you can help yourself at any given moment by your choice.
Sort of like choosing good companions rather than bad ones.
Very much so.
And thus the value of physical reminders.
You need things to remind you of who and what you choose to be and to become. Some people have altars or shrines in their homes. Some settle for post-it notes on the refrigerator. It all helps.
Here’s the thing. Life in 3D isn’t easy because it wasn’t designed to be easy. You give yourselves breathers sometimes, but mostly you don’t waste your limited time in 3D not challenging yourselves. You learned sixth grade stuff. You could, theoretically, continue doing sixth-grade math just to reassure yourself that you had mastered it, or even, perhaps, to feel the glow of accomplishment. But when you’re ready for the next level of complexity, remaining at previous levels – being faced only with problems of the former level’s complexity, no more – would become boring. You may not think so, but if you will free-associate enough, hang out with your own guys long enough, you’ll know. Life is problems, as much as it is anything else, and sooner or later you are driven to approach that next level of learning.
Paradoxically, making progress can make you feel overwhelmed, inadequate, discouraged, even helpless, because you feel the 3D situation more than you feel the solid achievement.
I’d say it’s more like, it becomes hard to believe in achievement. Did I do anything worthwhile? Am I any better – whatever “better” would mean specifically – than before I enmeshed myself in (or was assigned to) this life? Regardless of our abstract opinion of our life, it may come to feel empty, meaningless, whatever guise depression arrives in.
And some argue with Churchill’s “black dog” of depression all their lives. Some experience it as a continual companion; others, as a frequent visitor.
And I can all but hear you add, “And so what?”
Well, not in the sense of, “We don’t care when you hurt,” but yes in the sense of “This isn’t nearly as absolute, and certainly not as real, as ‘external’ and out of control, as you feel it is.” We are naturally going to see it differently: We see the whole life and you see each moment, one by one. Who is going to have a better perspective?
You say that and I remember walking into my second-grade (I think it was) classroom and seeing things on the wall that I couldn’t understand. 2×3=6, I remember specifically. I can’t tell you what grade they teach multiplication in, but I well remember puzzling over the fact that the “and” sign was crooked, and that 2+3 did not equal 6, so why did it say that? And then at some point in the year we were taught the meaning of the crooked “and” sign, and the little illustration on posterboard was no longer a mystery.
If that memory had been associated with emotional pain because the sign didn’t make sense, it would be a very close analogy. The fact that it did not, may help make the unrecognition factor clearer. Should someone have sympathized with the boy’s puzzlement and asked, in effect, “Why would God do this to him?” From a larger perspective, the genesis of the situation and its eventual resolution was obvious at a glance. There was nothing to sympathize about except whatever transitory discomfort the boy would have experienced.
As we said, this particular example does not involve pain. But perhaps it is all the more useful, not including pain, in illustrating points of view. It is easy enough to factor in pain once the underlying difference in perspective is comprehended.
Now, tie this in with our theme of greater consciousness within the larger theme of life more abundantly. The wider your consciousness – the more “here, now” you are – the better for your growth. But that doesn’t mean a smooth ride, and in fact there’s nothing that says a smooth ride is automatically a good thing. It may be, it may not be. One size does not fit all. It doesn’t even fit any at all times. People change. That is the idea, in fact. It is the intent, the hope.
I was reminded, as we wrote that, of Robin Williams’ character in “Ordinary People” telling the teenage boy (Timothy Hutton) “Let me let you in on a little secret, kiddo: Feelings don’t always tickle.”
And you were reminded of what a good job Robin Williams did in portraying complicated strong vulnerable questing people.
He did. He seemed wonderfully deep. “Good Will Hunting,” too.
His work is a sort of etherealized refrigerator magnet, you see. It is harder to stumble upon (though we suppose you could have a photo of him on a wall, perhaps), but on the other hand, deeply moving in a way a less complicated reminder might not be.
I jumped from Robin Williams in “Good Will Hunting” to Matt Damon, and then to Damon in “Saving Private Ryan,” and to Tom Hanks. Another valuable portrayal.
Encouragements are everywhere, if you are open to them. Encouragement and progress don’t necessarily tickle, either.
“Readiness is all”?
Well – courage is, at least. Your life at any given moment may be easy, but it isn’t a good idea to expect easy. Long-distance races have stretches where the runners give themselves a breather, so that their bodies can come back stronger, but the race is not mostly breather, and it isn’t run for the sake of the breathers.
Runners get tired.
They aren’t required to race every day, and if they get too tired they re-tire. But while they’re racing, they don’t try to persuade themselves they should be on the recliner, or having a beer.
Keep showing up with those reminders. Meanwhile, on with your day, as you please.
Today’s theme, what? Reminders?
Maybe “Ways to remain encouraged,” something like that.
Okay. Thanks as always.