[An edited account of a consultation between myself and Jon Holt, a friend, a psychiatrist and long-time Monroe participant, who moved over to non-3D earlier this month. My particular issues are nobody’s business, but I thought the example of how interaction can work might be of interest.
Tuesday, August 20, 2024
5:30 a.m. Jon, it came to me last night – via you for all I know – that the real question is about my grinding to a halt, or winding up in a dead end, or whatever is happening. But I don’t want this on the record.
We can do a session on the record or off the record, could do it now or later – and later might be better.
I think so too. It seems stupid to keep reading Night Action instead of talking to the gods, but no stupider than the rest of my life.
Plus you never know why you’re led to do whatever it is.
True too.
8:30 a.m. Okay, Jon, let’s try it.
The thing to remember is that you can always go deeper but after a certain point there’s not much to be gained. The important thing is to find the right string and pull on it, and keep pulling as long as you’re getting something out of it. You aren’t trying to become perfect here, you’re trying to find anything that will be of assistance. Something too high-flying might not be helpful. It might be discouraging.
I can see that.
So what is the most troublesome thing you can deal with?
That’s an interesting way to put it.
We’re after something useful.
Understood. Well – sometimes it feels like it’s a race between death and disaster. If I don’t die, I don’t see how I can get out of the cul de sac.
You realize, I would be laughing.
I do, and I sort of agree with you. It’s like choosing suicide so you don’t have to keep living with your fear of death.
Only in this case, it is your fear of life.
Is it?
Isn’t it?
Fear of where my life is leading me, maybe.
And the difference is –?
Point taken.
It seems to me, you are looking at the way your life is shaping up, and a bunch of vague fears are looming over you and you can’t imagine a good result.
True. [Specifics]
The trick here is to look at your fears one by one so you can get a handle on each one. Trying to do everything at once merely leaves you overwhelmed.
All right. [I spell one out.]
See how much smaller it looks when you pin it down?
That’s true, and I knew that abstractly.
You should find yourself feeling lighter. Next item?
[More examples]
I thought you take whatever comes.
Day by day, I do. I guess it is when I’m projecting forward that I get worried.
And you see why.
I do now. I can deal with specifics. How do I deal with the possibilities that are not realities?
There is such a thing as prudence. But you’ll notice you wanted to write “providence.” That too.
I feel like I’m in a state of suspension.
You might be surprised to know how many people feel the same.
I’m going to break off, but maybe we can do more later. I think this did help.
Any time.