Monday, April 30, 2018
6:25 a.m. So perhaps we can resume where we left off yesterday. I still haven’t decided whether to post the dream and our lengthy analysis of the dream, or just proceed from the beginning of your exposition about who and what we are.
As we said, it’s up to you. Nobody on “this side” has the right or the ability to force anyone on “your side” to do more than they wish to do.
Still, it is a conflict. Usually, I just say “the hell with it,” and post.
Re-reading it, I get the sense that as usual it may help others in ways unsuspected by me, illuminating other people’s lives that of course I cannot be aware of from my particular window. So, okay, I’ll just post it all. Will make a pretty long post, though.
You could post the dream here, then the follow-up session and whatever else we do as another post.
Good idea. I’ll do that now, then return for another session. Or would it be better to continue now and insert yesterday’s.
That’s what we meant when we said post here.
Okay.
A dream
Sunday, April 29, 2018
6 a.m. A long dream, well remembered and recited during the night, and I am going to take some time to recall it here, rather than do a session. As soon as the coffee is ready!
There was the dream itself and there were lessons drawn from it, or exemplified in it. Let’s see how well, working together, we can reassemble the pieces.
There I was with Jaime Bianch, the actor who plays Salvador Marti in “El Ministerio del Tiempo.” Or was I with Salvador himself? He was showing me my new office – large and square and airy, as I remember it now, though I can’t remember thinking in words about its size during the night. It was my first day there, I guess. I think I was the new boss.
We were interrupted – by the secretary, I suppose, over the intercom perhaps – saying there was a woman there to see me, not personally but in my official capacity. I didn’t know her, but I invited her into the office, over Salvador’s urgent objections to my seeing her at all, let alone in the office. I didn’t understand why he was objecting, and overruled him. Then he was not in the room and she was. Sitting there, she started talking in a way that I realized after the fact was merely killing time.
There was this huge thump against the office door, which I took as a meaningless interruption, and told her to continue (while I continued to try to figure out what she was talking about). There came another thump, almost as loud as the first, and I opened the door to find Salvador on the floor, looking like he was dying. I assumed he was having a heart attack, and ran to the phone on my desk, but had to think if I needed to push a button to get an outside line, remembered that I didn’t need to, pressed 9 and had to concentrate to remember that the following numbers were 1 and 1.
Something then made me wonder if he was dying of natural causes or had been murdered. For one thing, the woman was gone, and in retrospect her talk seemed pointless and now looked suspicious.
Something important followed. What was it?
[TGU:] You might look first at what you have here.
All right. Oh, it was something about internal and external being of equal importance. And I woke up to see the full moon shining directly in my eyes out of a cloudless sky, and I thought it looked like the barrel of a pistol aimed at me, an image I would never have formed if I hadn’t read Ingo Swann’s book Penetration.
So. I was the new boss. The outgoing boss was showing me my new office, and was strongly averse to my allowing this unknown woman into the office regardless of her pretext. Because I was new and eager to help, and because he could not give me a reason for his opposition, and because my own inexperience made me too trusting, I let her in, and while she was occupying my attention with meaningless time-wasting things, the old boss – my mentor, I suppose – was either dying or was being killed in my absence. When he made enough noise (either he himself or the event itself), I discovered it, did what I could do without delay, but had to fight through my panic to remember how to request assistance.
Irritatingly enough, I cannot remember the rest of the dream, or the conclusions I drew.
Bad affirmation.
True. Okay, I haven’t yet remembered the rest.
Better. But looking at what you have here, what comes to mind?
I like the character Salvador Marti. He is old, grey, wise, stern, compassionate, and determined, according to circumstances.
He is the wise old man you’d like to be.
True enough. He’s funny, too, and sees things with the weight but also the wisdom of age. So many things he has observed.
Also, he is an orphan.
Yes he is, but is that relevant?
Did you not have to be told, many times, “You are not alone”? And did that not mark a turning-point [in Gateway] for you?
Yes, so it did. All right.
I am the new jefe, I guess, being shown my new office by the former jefe, presumably retired or retiring. The new office is still strange to me, and maybe I haven’t grown into it yet.
Yes, good. That’s why it seems so unusually big.
The characteristics I bring to the office are turned against me because in my inexperience I do not recognize danger and in my rationalism I do not properly rate the old man’s intuitive but not articulate sense of danger. So, eagerness, kindness, dislike of standing on ceremony. The woman was little more than a shadow figure, not individual at all in the way Salvador was. There was no personal chemistry between us, in other words. I invited her into my office not because she was a woman, but because she asked to be allowed in.
You should look at that carefully.
All right. Are you saying a man making the same request wouldn’t have gotten the same invitation?
Not quite that – but would he have been able to hold your attention with nothing in quite the same way?
Perhaps not.
And in fact if Salvador had had the same feeling that you should not meet a given man, would you have listened more carefully, perhaps?
Yes, I would have. So I suppose your point is that I am more susceptible to danger from women than from men, if only because I am not properly guarded in my attitude.
Instead of deciding whose point it is, decide whether you agree with it.
I do. Without examining it closely, I don’t know if it proves true in my life that women are more dangerous to me than men, but I’ll look at it
We didn’t quite say more dangerous to you. It is Salvador who pays the price for your youthful recklessness in not heeding his inarticulate objections.
Well, he does if he was in fact killed.
Even if he is dying of natural causes, he is dying with a door between you.
And as a result of that separation?
Look to the dream itself, What does it say?
Yes, I see. Not logically, but somehow emotionally-logically, you might say, that may be the point. While I’m wasting my time trying to make sense of a strange woman’s chatter, my wise old man is dying.
Well, not quite that either, but you’re on the track; only, continue.
I’m listening to her because I think that’s my duty, my new role, and I’m trying to do a conscientious job.
And?
And we are assuming that somebody or somebodies are taking advantage of that trust to do harm to another.
Now stop in your tracks and rather than look at this dream as a drama put on in order to illustrate psychological truths – which it also is – look at it as true in itself in a deeper way.
I almost have what you’re getting at, but not quite. It’s a fine point, isn’t it?
It depends upon a very slight adjustment of the microscope knob, so if your fingers tremble, it’s easy to lose.
And it would be better for me to adjust the knob than for you to do it on my behalf.
In a sense, we cannot do it on your behalf. You can lead a 3D mind to water, but you can’t make it think. Only you can do that, because thinking is a form of rearrangement of habits that perdure.
If you say so. Instead of looking at a dream as a staged drama that illustrates an abstract relationship or an abstract truth by placing it in specific circumstances, we could – should, I guess – also look at it as real in its own terms. But this is shallowing out into mere words.
Recalibrate. Use the [fluorite] wand. [That is, hold it against my palm as I refocus.]
It is as if we are looking at an interaction of elements of ourselves as they are in their community aspect rather than as they are in their individual aspect. Nancy’s circle of lives rather than an assumed forged unity.
That’s closer to it. Dreams not only deal with your relations with the external world, not only deal with your relations with your internal world, but also deal with the relations among the parts of you. Dreams show how they interact with each other, and with “you as individual” and with “you as individual in the world.” It is much more complex than even Carl Jung realized intellectually, though he did realize it instinctually, and did deal with it almost as side-effect.
And if you are comfortable with putting this out in public, there’s no reason you cannot thus have had a session. But it is up to you, and an edited transcript would do just as well.
Nor are we finished with the dream.
No, nor are we finished with the dream unless you move on to other things.