Fear and choosing

Friday, January 15, 2021

7:30 a.m. Guys, seeing myself reflected in the nurses, doctors, and Nancy after I tell her about the day, I am proud of myself, pleased, but can’t very well talk about it without boasting. Still, why shouldn’t we enjoy our highs as well as suffer our lows?

No reason whatever. And in this case if written carefully you could show people what it looks like to live trusting life. [Basically, this refers to the fact that I was calm and open, not edgy or even nervous, and this was so natural that I took it for granted until I saw people’s reactions.]

[Something private.]

Interesting point, and I see you do know which buttons to push.

We should!

“By now.”

“By now only as opposed to “did all along.” You always had the potential to become what you are, but it was only one potential among so many. How should we react to you as if you already embodied what was only potential?

Interesting question.

It goes deeper, of course. How should all of us (all of your non-3D components) react to any one given potential being lived, without it bleeding through to other versions that are not living it, having made other choices?

I think you are hinting that this is part of our ability to choose our reactions, to choose what we want to be. We can feel the alternate potentials.

You will remember that this is to help you all to learn how to “have life more abundantly.” Opening up is the key. Closing down amounts to self-truncation.

Let’s put it this way:

  • Love and fear. That is, expansion and inclusion v. contraction and the setting up of boundaries.
  • This applies between 3D individuals, of course, and in a world of the consequences of duality is not so much a bad thing as a necessary evil – and, being necessary, is “evil” mostly because one is tempted to see things that way, as either good or evil.
  • It also applies within 3D individuals, of course. What you fear, you wall off, and what is walled off you tend to fear once you consciously begin to suspect its existence. But the more you fear, the smaller the room for you to live.

I get that “the more you fear” doesn’t mean “the more things you fear,” but “the more you make a habit of fearing.”

In practice they are more or less the same, but yes, good clarification.

  • It also applies – this is a little hard to express – among us as individuals but spread over other 3D lives to which they connect via the larger being they spring from.

In essence, you mean openness or closed-ness expresses among us as individuals, within us as individuals, and both within and among us in our larger selves of which we individuals are only a piece.

Correct. Your 3D decisions as to what you want to be are important! We may have mentioned this.

Smiling. Yeah, I think you hinted at it sometime. We seem to be going well, let’s continue. About your challenge to our ILC group. “What light does sex shed on your lives as 3D creatures, choosing what you will be?”

We will say a few words, but bear in mind, the purpose of this exercise – or, let’s say the function of the exercise (the “how” rather than the “why”) – is for people to examine freely what arises when they keep the question in mind. Sex is so primary, so universal in your experience, that it invisibly colors your oh-so-rational existences. We don’t care about what the question illuminates so much as how; that is, what does the process of paying attention allow to come to consciousness.

It’s funny, and I mean ha-ha funny, not strange-funny, everything I write has sexual double entendres I can feel as I write it. You say, see what arises, etc.

Well, see, that is an example of the process. Such double entendres are there all the time, and you either suppress or encourage or ignore them depending upon who you are, which of course means, in part, depending upon your past choices. Now, not all of your psychic setup is the result of conscious decisions present or past. You may be born inhibited in certain directions. For some people, a potential double entendre may never come to their consciousness because the connection is filtered out beforehand: screened, edited, behind the scenes.

And I suppose it could also be that some people are more aware of language per se than others. I (and my whole family, in fact) have always been very aware of puns and plays on words.

Sure. There are many variables. The point here is merely that here is one tiny example of how sex and the awareness of sex suffuses your lives often unnoticed or disregarded or – mostly – placed in isolation.

I suppose that double entendres have a purpose in our lives, given that most things seem to.

Let’s not pursue that, at the moment. It isn’t a sensitive subject, but it is better left as a loose end, for people to address or not, as it interests them or doesn’t.

Okay, thanks. Nice to be in touch.

You might mention that moment.

Oh yes! I was lying comfortably on the hospital bed, drowsing, waiting for them to take me to the room where they would do the ultrasound (turns out, I’m not pregnant), and out of nowhere comes a very emotional moment, when I remembered the vision that was given me at Gateway, so many years ago. The gist of it was a voice, repeating 20, 30, maybe 50 times, one sentence, while the visual was of a man alone in a rowboat in the middle of a lake which was in the middle of woods, seemingly no one else around. “You are not alone,” the voice said. “You are not alone. You are not alone.” And after more than 50 years of experiencing life as alone, I needed that message, and the conviction it carried. I was reminded of that, lying on the hospital bed, I think because the context was I was taking for granted (comfortably) the fact that, as Bob Monroe said once or twice, “You are more than your physical body,” thinking how easy it made life to know that.

But of course the fact that you are not alone, no matter how it feels, has no application for anyone reading this.

Smiling too. I think I may be talking to my lower self.

Actually, that would be a good subject, another time. like your psychic shadow, we are both higher and lower. And you might wonder if that, too, connects with sex in your lives.

Intriguing. But, as you say, for another day. This is going to cost me an hour or so of transcription, so enough for now. Thanks as always.

 

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