Friday, May 02, 2014

6:15 a.m. Went to bed wanting a lucid dream about what questions to suggest to George Noory that he ask me when I am on Coast to Coast AM next Friday. I got the beginning of the questions to ask – awoke remembering that I should describe the black box and how it works, and TMI, and Hemi-Sync, but when I woke up I forgot most of it. It was disappointing to forget, because when I awoke, I lay still, rehearsed what I had gotten, then as soon as I turned on the bedside light and picked up a pen, it vanished. All I wrote was, “Qs for GN. Dreamt of answers.”

I got on the computer, sent an email to Luigi and Thomas asking for reminders on how to stop from forgetting, then decided to try again. Maybe 15 minutes all told between waking up, losing what I had had, emailing the LD group and going back to bed.

As soon as I composed myself, I remembered that I had seen [my long-deceased cousin] Bub! I had been in a restaurant, and there he was walking toward me with a very welcoming expression on his face, and I was so delighted – but he was having dinner with clients, who were sitting at a table. He introduced me, but I didn’t want to be in a social situation, I wanted to see him by himself, and I was disappointed that we couldn’t be alone.

When I returned to dreaming, and returned to this unremembered scene, I remembered that it was a dream, and I could change it. I had him ask the others to excuse him, which they were happy to do. They would have dinner by themselves. I worried about it, but I got that it was all right.

I wanted to change scenes, so as not to be only a couple of tables away from his clients, so to speak, but I didn’t really know how to do it, or how to choose a new scene. Then suddenly he and I were out in a field, and I recognized it as the place where I had met the unicorn, my higher self, back in the 1987 Higher Self Seminar. And that was where I had learned that Bub was my twin soul, or other half.

So it was natural to expect to see his symbol of his higher self, but it was a knight in shining armor. I was worried that I was making that up, but I was reassured because it didn’t seem to be the kind of thing I would make up. The very fact that it was unexpected and wasn’t quite comfortable reassured me.

Thinking of the twin-soul idea, I wondered if he meant that the knight rode and I was the mount, but he said “knights don’t ride unicorns.” I think there’s more to be unpacked from those symbols, because the two images belong to the same era and civilization.

The scene changed and we were sitting at a bar, but that didn’t quite work, and then he and I were sitting at a little table – a little round table, though that association came to me only after I was recording this! – having beers together. He was drinking from a bottle, but I poured mine into a glass as I usually do, and had a vague under-thought that wondered if Charlie, with his tough-guy veneer, would scorn my not drinking from the bottle.

Then I realized that a third person had appeared between us. If Charlie was at the 2 o’clock position and I was at 6 o’clock, the third person – [my deceased brother] John – was not at 10, where you’d expect, and where we’d both be more or less facing him, but at 4, where he was sort of behind us. I knew that he and Bub were close as kids, and I didn’t want to exclude him, but I wanted to be alone with Bub! And then there were dad, and Uncle Charles, and others in my life (and presumably in his life) who have died. I can’t exclude any of them, but I wanted time alone with Bub, we had so little time in life.

He says (and I know) that the others in our lives popped up because they are associated with us, and I am not skilled yet at defining the terms of the dream scenario. Next time, either let my higher self do the scene-painting, or just learn to do it better, by doing.

And, I am told, the answers to my questions aren’t lost, but will resurface when I sit down to type them, and I have no doubt this is true.

On reflection I see that I haven’t been proactive enough. It is well and good to be receptive, and that’s how we learn to hear, but it is then necessary, for balance, to be active, to be proactive, because it is for us in bodies to choose. That’s what we are here for, to shape ourselves by the choices we make.

And as I wrote that out in my journal, I remembered that I have been seeing faces before I sleep and beginning to interact with them. So, progress.

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