Interesting to me today to see myself wrestling with fact, thought, logic, speculation, as I worked to make sense of what I was experiencing internally. By 2008 I had been in direct (but not continuous) contact with Joseph Smallwood for more than two years, and had been trying to untangle my ideas about soul contact for a good deal longer than that. But things don’t come clear all that easily.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Someone — Joseph — care to comment on the lovely connection?
Well, you know, your distinction between perception and story is right. You get lots of detail wrong because you try to figure things out the way they probably were, but it don’t work all that well. We told you somewhere that your idea of things isn’t right and so you’re trying to fit things into something ain’t right – how well is that going to work?
Still you got the essentials and that’s what counts. For instance. Suppose somebody in another life goes to counting the people you’ve been in love with this lifetime. You think they’re liable to get them all, and get them in the right order, and understand what you got from each one and gave to each one? You think they’ll keep straight which ones you had an emotional tie to, and which ones physical, and which mental – and which combination of which? No chance – not until they’re in full connection and if they’re there, why would they need to piece anything together?
So, stick to facts, and these are chiefly the emotional ties experienced.
Sure. What else do you have to go by, really? You know that feelings don’t mislead you. You know that logic, does. So which one are you going to trust when it is a matter of things you can only half see?
It’s simple enough when you put it that way. It’s just that our training and our habitual way of being lead us to do it the other way.
Sure, and how far does it get you?
So, my sudden hunch yesterday that you actually come after me in soul order though before me in chronology?
Well, look at the perplexities that clauses, if you try to cram it in to time and space like that. Anytime you get a perplexing result, it ought to cause you to figure, maybe you don’t have it right.
But you got the sense that I was after you because you worked on some things – John Cotten’s stubbornness for instance, his sullen refusal of life – and you don’t see that I had to. But that’s just cramming it in where it almost fits. You know in another part of yourself that it ain’t a matter of straight-line continuation at all, but of dropping these traits and these. Now, it ain’t as simple as that either and you ought to get Jim to ask you about reincarnation so you can ask the guys in general and maybe get some of this straightened out in your mind (which don’t mean you’ll get it right necessarily but you’ll have a model you can live with that will bring you further along).