August 30, 2007
So – what will I do with myself?
In general! Who’s up today?
No one? Very well, I need someone who can help me, first with my eyes.
You must not forget that your eyes like every part of you are metaphysical (so to speak) as well as physical. If there is too much pressure within the eye, damaging the optic nerve – as there is – what does that say of your life otherwise?
Too much pressure to see, injuring my ability to see?
Not quite. Too much pressure within the eye, regardless of intent –
Hmmm. Too much internal pressure. No, I don’t quite get it. More?
The eye is fashioned and shaped a certain way, for its function. Variations from the optimal shape beyond tolerance impede the effectiveness of the organ. Variances beyond that begin to affect function.
And so –?
And so if you are shaped in such a way as to be seriously different from the norm, your normal may not be the “normal” for everyone else; indeed it scarcely could be. But nonetheless it exists. That is, you have a normal point, from which you stray only at a cost.
Yes. And so –?
Your state of being affects your state of being! That’s the only way we can think of to make clear to you that you are regarding as unconnected what in fact is identical but seemingly different. Your state of being – your emotional, mental, energetic life, your accustomed somewhat consciously selected way of existing – affects your state of being – your physical apparatus and functioning.
You know this in one context, or why did you cling to the irrational certainty that you could move away from asthma (which is how we would see it) and why did you notice the connection, a while ago, between you watching a cynical and depressing movie and you’re becoming ill?
Yet this is to see the episodic nature of things and not the continuing nature. In other words if you can interrupt – prevent – cure – an asthma attack, why not cure on-going problems such as, oh, congestive heart failure and its associated causes? Yet if you can do that (regardless of outside agents) why not even longer-term problems? But these problems may require that you live differently. Is that so surprising?
Diet, you mean?
Inspiration – intake – in all senses of the word. And exhalation – release – in all senses of the word. As you cannot only breathe in and not out physically (that is, with the lungs) so you cannot breathe in meta-physically and not breathe out. You have brought in – but you must combine what you have brought in with your essence, and exhale it again transformed. This is health.
My life is very unbalanced.
Your awareness of the imbalance fluctuates but you are learning.
What need I do that I can do?
If it is needed, it is possible. Evident, surely.
Maybe. I’ll concede it, anyway.
Nothing that you need do will be second-nature to you, or you would be doing it already. So it involves change that won’t be totally comfortable.
I see that. As in [Hermann Hesse’s novel] Steppenwolf.
Yes, very much. Could you follow that example?
I don’t know.
An honest answer.
Well, so, like what?
Reach out again. [Meaning, connect with another person. Enter another relationship.]
I thought I’d demonstrated pretty well that this was a dead-end path.
No, you refused or were unable to actually tread the path. You stopped at a gas pump in California.
Yes. But I don’t know if I really want to go that route again. And if I did it would have so many consequences –
It is for you to choose – but your present route has consequences too.