April 28, 2007
This is in reaction to reading my post about the March 25, 1993 black box session
When I was a little boy playing in the woods, on one level I would be making up stories — playing cowboys or something — that I can’t remember, so many decades later. But on other level, I see now, a different part of me was being nourished. The trees created a sacred space, in a way, although that concept would have meant nothing to me.
Inside – in the house – were toys and television. Outside were swings and bicycles and games with my brothers and others. But I can’t remember ever playing in the woods with others. This was not by design, it just happened. The woods were mine.
I see now what I scarcely noticed then, that I had a very solitary childhood. Because I lived among the three brothers and two sisters, and had extended family, I hardly noticed this. But I had no close friend until I was in high school, and only one then. I lived not among people but among books – and before books came the woods. A little later came the farm, and I spent a few years doing tractor work – plowing, disking, cultivating. But first came the woods. Between the television dreams of the old West, and the woods behind the house, and then my reading, I lived a solitary life and didn’t realize it.
There was something deeply nourishing in the woods connection. I wonder what it was. But my life moved in to other paths, and books and restless motion supplanted woods and farm, I still held them in my definition of who I was. The number of years that included time for me to spend in the woods couldn’t have been more than 15 at the most, for I certainly stopped before high school. The years when I did farm work can’t have been more than that, for my earliest experience — picking daffodils with my elder brother and sister — came at age five, and I left for college at 19.
April 30, 2007
The TGU concept that the guys used was my halfway house while I learned to communicate. It is still useful as I don’t need to confine myself only to those for whom I already have “story.”
There are several concepts that need to be digested.
One – No certainties. Avoid Psychic’s Disease.
Two – No predictions. All futures exist. In uncertainty is our freedom.
Three – A skill to be learned, like any other skill.
Four – Muddy footprints. You don’t need to know just what you are doing.
Five – You are not alone, and you are not what you think you are.
Six – Prepare for strife, “within” your self and therefore among “others.”