May 3, 2007
Finished Presidential Agent a few minutes ago. Why? And why continuing? Actually let’s turn that into an active rather than rhetorical question.
Your work in putting so much material onto your weblog must not entirely turn you from active consideration of the more important mission. Balance is required. Your fashioning left you helpless to act but powerful to see and discern. Do not let go that wider vision merely because a truncated form would be more comfortable.
Yes, I know where you’re going, I think. My political friends want me to do more – or at least to pay more attention – but I do not and do not feel I should. Yet to turn my back completely on what is going on would be futile as well.
Exactly. It is time for gathering up threads and perceiving interconnections, not for more of the specializing that helps to disintegrate the civilization.
I get that you don’t necessarily see disintegration as negative, though.
No. When an old way of being is outmoded, the strands loosen. When a new way coalesces, new patterns of tightening connections emerge. Harder to form new patterns until older patterns have been loosened.
I’m having a hard time. Too many competing threads calling for attention.
Remember the thought about fear. You could write a brief history of how fear destroyed the 20th century structure and allowed new demons to emerge – but could still allow new possibilities to come forth.
I am losing faith in my ability to write anything long and meaningful.
Then write short and meaningful. What is the difference? Who writes more evocative essays? It isn’t about writing books as though books are more permanent or had a wider audience or even a better more thoughtful audience. You have seen.
I am still feeling my way.
I am having to take a lot on trust.
Look, your father couldn’t have told you was going to happen, but he would tell you to buck up and go with whatever happens. There is always a way. It is only fear that says otherwise.