Unsuspected resources

[These excerpts from a dozen years ago should suggest things to those open to it. We have more resources than we usually know to call on. We are more than we usually experience ourselves to be.]

Wednesday night 11:15

New technique today. Rita was feeling very bad so I followed the promptings of whoever it is who sends these things, and had her visualize the relaxation techniques etc. floating in weightless space rather than as she was. That is, working on the energetic body and later the energetic, mental and emotional bodies together, outside the physical body, and then let them sink back into the physical body. That was around noon. Tonight she said she felt great.

Tuesday, January 16, 2006

8:15 a.m. I was sick from about nine or so p.m. Sunday, all yesterday and last night, and a little bit still. Odd illness, in that I had no trouble breathing through any of it. Odd in many ways.

I had had a very good day Sunday, finishing entering my Thoreau notes and clarifying the structure of The Stone. I was rewarding myself for so much diligence by watching Eight Men Out. Turned it off in disgust after a while – it is all lying and cheating, and the part that bothers me most is that nobody knows the score. Everybody is being lied to, even Rothstein. Anyway, I think that movie lowered my vibrations radically. I had been reading Richard Bach and Colin Wilson and soaring; this tumbled me into the ashes.

A strange illness. Both nights seemed to go on forever. What seemed like hours passing – weren’t. I sort of drowsed through it, occasionally sleeping, occasionally working but mostly between the two. It was like a long slow motion fever. Indeed, probably it was just that. I tried some visualization work, starting with the places that hurt worst. Oh, I should say that one of the things was terrific wracking pains that moved from here to there. Some were in one place but others moved around. I always assume that a floating pain is tied to the energetic body rather than the physical body (or why would it move?) but of course I do not know. So I would work on whatever pain was most prominent, working to smooth it out. Sometimes this helped, sometimes not.

I awoke again a little while ago, or gave up trying to sleep (same thing, nearly), drank some orange juice, and was sipping coffee, when I was able to focus as I had done when the car was in the ditch and I needed help. “I need help here,” I said, like [Rita’s husband] Martin that time. And suddenly I am able to function again and I am very aware of how much I want to shave and shower. My eyes worry me. If I could fix my lungs I can fix my eyes – but I need to focus.

Wednesday February 14, 2007

Rita suggested that we do a meditation. It turned out to be almost a lecture by the guys upstairs outlining another more sophisticated use we can make of the meditation technique that we have used for instance to repair our bodily aches and pains. Their point is that the conscious mind is to direct and the subconscious mind is to carry out. So rather than free associate, or daydream, or fantasize, allowing it all to happen automatically, we should free associate, or daydream, or fantasize, having directed from the beginning what we want to accomplish.


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