Wednesday. November 15, 2017
6:50 a.m. Up again after maybe an hour and a half – not sleeping, exactly, but resting, anyway.
Very unsatisfactory session today. because no coffee? Because no idea where it would go? But either and both these conditions have been true in the past. Stage-fright lest Bruce come in?
7:15 a.m. This is the first time I am left with so unsatisfactory a feeling about it. It occurs to me, perhaps I am shirking.
Bruce, is it you, wanting to come through?
Well, I don’t see that there’s any “of course” about it, necessarily. It has been a good while – years – since we met or even talked.
Not that that makes any difference.
No, maybe not. So – how are you doing? Surely you haven’t adjusted so quickly?
Why not? I wasn’t taken by surprise, and I had a firm idea of what was to come. Any surprises would be incidental; mostly I knew.
If is as you have been told. The closer you establish the link while you are alive, the easier it is to change your base of operations.
I don’t suppose you will have completed your past-life review.
Again, why not? It takes place in an instant – it only takes a long time to describe if you have to string words together in sequence.
I trust you are satisfied with what you saw.
Anything can be improved on – could have been improved on, I mean. But, it could have been worse, too.
You did make a difference, Bruce. You came a long way from being a mechanical engineer who liked doing Lifelines.
I know that. It is very gratifying, but the strongest gratification is in the people I loved and who loved me. You’ll find it the same. Anybody will. Expressing and experiencing PUL [pure unconditional love] is a solid achievement. Other things are well and good, but they’re more transient, more tied to the moment.
Well, you always said so. I remember you telling me of how as a boy you were walking down the road and pulled the ability to feel and threw it away, because it hurt so much. We who knew you only as an adult watched you recover and develop it. It was very interesting.
Sometimes you have to lose something and get it back, before you can appreciate it.
Many, many people benefitted from your work on yourself, Bruce, even though only at second-hand.
You’ll find it is always that way.
So now you are with Bob Monroe and Ed Wilson and Dave Wallis and Ed Carter, with Laurie Monroe and with Rita presumably. Old Home Week?
How well I remember that, Bruce! I’d ask you a question – what is a capacitor and what does it do, I remember that one distinctly – and you would pause, take a drag on your cigarette, let the smoke out, look up and to your right, and start by saying, “Well –.”
See? Some things never change.
I don’t know, Edgar Cayce said once, “Where I am going, there are no cigarettes.”
Hasty conclusion. As to my friends, bear in mind that anybody may have mutual friends with somebody else, but the mutual friends are going to be only a small percentage of the number of friends and loved ones he has in all. Right at the moment, relatives I lost years ago are more front and center. But you know that is misleading. It isn’t quite that way, but that is one way to describe it. Anyway, the TMI portion of my life is one portion. There were many others, and what is important and productive and pleasurable and even urgent – I think we have urgent here too, although you might not think it – is going to change from moment to moment. Don’t forget, one realm, not two. We here and you there is a way of seeing things, but it isn’t really any more accurate than we here and you here, or we there and you there.
All one world. I know.
You know theoretically, but you will find yourself forgetting in practice.
No doubt. Okay, Bruce, any messages for your old friends?
Let’s say this is like having my manuscripts edited, all over again. I knew what I wanted to convey, and it came out in my words, but the editing process certainly changed the result.
I’m looking for the less obvious meaning of that, and I get that anybody you contact is going to in effect participate in editing your thoughts – if only by putting them into 3D sequential language – so we shouldn’t worry too much about consistency among various messages.
And you shouldn’t treat them as scripture, as you like to say. But there isn’t really any need for more at this point.
Give my regards to our friends as you encounter them, and congratulations on your new freedom.
I won’t go into it – ask your sources – but in the absence of 3D time, you are as “here” and as free as I am. But I know what you mean. Thanks.
See you another time, maybe. I’d say “be well,” but I guess that is no longer a concern.
I know what you mean! Okay, till another time.
(2) Heads and tails
8:30 a.m. True or not, I do feel better [after receiving and sending it], which is a test in itself.
11:10. And it must have done me some good, as I slept till just now when the phone rang.
12:40 p.m. Okay, I finally got it. My reaction to being expected to post my conversation with Bruce is an example of the attitude I need to overcome.
Correct. Modesty, even humility, is a very good thing as opposed to egotism. But any good thing can be carried too far. As we said this morning, you have begun to express deeper levels of who you are. You want to, but your own self-contradiction is getting in your way. And here is the thing: No matter how much the world might want and even need a decision, no one has the right to overbear someone’s free will. In fact, it is more than a matter of right; it couldn’t be done anyway. How does one force another to make a free choice? And an unfree choice is no choice at all, so has no force.
I take it that, as usual, this is not just for my benefit.
No, not just; but it is for you to pay attention to. We most earnestly implore you to pay attention to your own soul’s longing.
Interesting. It is in this issue of appearances that I am affected by public opinion. I, who am always congratulating myself on not having to hide.
It hangs in the balance.
Presumably if heads-me declines to take the indicated path, tails-me will, so what’s the difference?
In a way, free will is an attempt to have heads and tails both come out in the same place, which tips the balance, you see.
No, I don’t see, actually.
A long time ago down the chain of decisions that is your life, the path not taken by you – by the version you are tracing today – led to mastery. If we can encourage tails-you to take decisions that lead to the same result that that very old heads-you chose, the entire weight of your total being will be moved.
I still can’t say that I see. Maybe somebody else will. But I don’t need to understand it. I know what my deepest wish in this life has been, only it seemed impossible of attainment, without teacher, without school, without a discipline to lean on.
Don’t you know that people’s deepest wishes are apt to be granted? And, does it occur to you that your deepest wish is rooted in your deepest nature?
Meaning we already are what we long to be?
In a sense, yes, or why would you long for it? What would bring you to recognize it?
I get that I am depending upon the inner knowing that has always sleepwalked me when necessary.
You are not alone. You may have heard that.
I see. Well, all I know to do is what Emerson said, “Obey the voice at eve obeyed at prime.”
That’s all anybody could ask, and all you or anybody could need.
And I suppose the next step is to transcribe and send all this, and stand naked.
No one could or would force you to do so. It’s up to you.
Yes. All right.
1:15 p.m. I suppose this is why you have had me reading Dion Fortune novels, which are all about people discovering their built-over selves. But this is no small thing you’re asking me to do. If I do this, I think surcease from asthma is not an unreasonable price to demand. But that isn’t the kind of payment in advance one can exact, I suppose.
2:05 p.m. If I type it up, I’m liable to send it. So – hesitating. No small thing, this; yet I suppose if I do not do it, it’s shallows and miseries for me. I just don’t know.