I was writing to myself in my journal the other day: “My living is slipping through my life, unwritten, unrecorded save on the Akashic record. Why is that?” Then it occurred to me to ask! (It still slips my mind, continually, that I can always ask.)
Actually — why is that?
For a long time, you overrated the importance and effect of being in print. What good would it have been for you, if that overvalue had been rewarded, had been taken as accurate? So — life without print. But then the balance can be off-balance on the other side, as well, so you have gotten somewhat into expression.
But consider, print fixes. One tends — it isn’t just you doing it, in general one tends — to settle on a fixed account rather than revisit it as one might do (depending on personality type) so long as it remained fluid because only remembered. Since you move, relative to a fixed point in time, every revisit is from a different vintage point. Every time, the perspective is different. But if it has been fixed in time by written (or videotaped, or recorded; it doesn’t depend on the medium) form, it tends not to move.
So where am I now?
You are at another point when you are strongly moved to fix your past again. Fix, meaning affix, not so much meaning repair.
Nothing wrong with that, is there? Other than that I can’t seem to do it?
Maybe you know at a different level that this is a burden you needn’t carry, as it is peripheral to what you are doing.
No conclusions here, but I thought the insight about the fixed and fluid nature of our experiences might be of interest.