Session five of ten (continued)

Friday, October 13, 2000

S: Let’s go ahead and move to 21 and get outside of time and considerations to that next level.

F: [long pause] As I try to communicate with Bertram, the waves of cold just come overwhelmingly. I still feel like I’m inside the crystal, or rather again, and so it isn’t that. [pause]

Maybe this unfamiliar energy has something to do with connecting in this way to someone else. Even if it’s another part of ourselves. That seems to be reasonable. [pause] I’d like to meet the Egyptian, really. He’s only a concept to me right now. [pause] As soon as I say that, I got this concept of elongated hands. My own fingers are long, but these are longer. They would be almost malformed, to us. Not ghastly, but just a little longer than ours.

S: Does that have something to do with the finger experience you told me about?

F: What was that?

S: You scratched your leg and noticed you had longer fingers.

F: Oh. Oh. Well, let’s see. Does it? [pause] No, I think that was more of a reminder about the fact that we’re surrounded by an energy sheathe. I don’t know why I needed the reminder. That’s about the amount longer they would be, though. That extra three quarters of an inch, say.

You know, I don’t think they saw things the way we see them. I wonder if – is it possible that they could have seen what to us is separate – that they could have seen part in – oh, I don’t know. Suppose that the frequencies that they saw weren’t quite the same as ours.

S: Rather than trying to figure it out, — ask.

F: Oh yeah. Heh-heh. [laughs] It’ll only take 20 more sessions. [long pause]

Well he wouldn’t know, or she — he, I think — because he sees what he sees. But as I put the question I am reminded that there was that wall that I saw of I think it was a black wall with red hieroglyphs on it, and they were embarrassed because we thought it was so profound and to them it was an advertisement. I don’t see the relevance. Except it’s both Egypt. [pause]

They had a single vision in a way that we don’t, also. But they had that open connection. [pause] It’s like, you know how I said in the future people will have not only a wider connection Upstairs but between each other, — they [the Egyptians] had it Upstairs only. In other words, — well, I have real doubts about all this. But what I’m getting is, they — each individual would have a very close connection to – [pause] I don’t know now. It’s —

They all saw themselves in proportion more than we do. If somebody who had a certain spot in society, he didn’t have that spot just because he didn’t have enough sense to rebel against it, or because he was oppressed: That was his spot. There was no sense of individuality in the way that we do. There’s was all a – it would be like being one member of a ballet troupe, perhaps. That would be not a bad analogy. [pause]

And this is a hint to us of their mode of perceptions. Now, my hands are feeling very strange. My right hand is holding something, it’s like maybe a walking stick or a rod or something, with a curious thing – the top of it is wider – is like an upside-down teacup, sort of. It’s how it feels. In other words it’s rounded downward like that. My left hand – what is it holding? [pause] I don’t know. They’re in quite different – don’t know. They’re both half cupped around something, but in quite different ways. The one that I felt was a rod might be more like a railing even, or a banister, or – not a banister, a – thing you rest your arm on. It’s like I’m leaning my arm to my elbow on that, whereas the left hand – what is it doing? I don’t know. It came quite suddenly; I forgot entirely what I was talking about, this sense of something under the palm of my hand is so great. [pause]

I think the left hand – like, if you’re at the end of the chair arm, and your hand goes over the end, you know? That’s how it is. I’m having a hard time with words, here. Boy, it’s like my physical arms here – Oh! This my other body I’m feeling! I think. My second body, not – I don’t mean the Egyptian’s body. I’ve sort of swapped focus. [pause] It’s like sitting, leaning forward, on a chair with arms, but there’s something strange about the chair with arms, because the arms are out farther at the back than they are in front. It would be as if almost they were trying to make a triangle out of it. [pause] But that’s why the pressure on the palms, he’s leaning forward on the chair, or whatever it is he’s in. That’s it. [pause]

We’d later had a corruption of this attitude. Even the Roman attitude was a corruption of this Egyptian attitude, because the percep—because the – we need a word for this – because the way they experienced themselves had changed. A decadent society that believes in fixed status and keeping people in their place is just a decayed version of what this earlier thing was where everyone had a part – an honored part – an equally honored– Well, let’s see – An accepted part in the ballet. In our time, if you don’t succeed, people scorn you, but in their time you couldn’t not succeed, really. You were a part of the whole thing.

And what I’m getting is, the importance of this is not a social commentary, it’s a clue as to their mode of consciousness.

Can you make that a little clearer? Can you make it a little – What’s the point here?

Suddenly a vision of something descending from the sky with lots of different points in it, aimed downwards – it’s not a real thing, this is an analogy. It’s like a – it’s like if you were to – Suppose you had a bird cage, and the bottom of the bird cage was off. But you had the top, and all of the little spikes going downward. That’s what this would sort of be like? Oh, all right, that’s an analogy to people – Okay. Each of the spokes of the bird cage, at the end of it is a person, you see? And their primary connection is to the bird cage, not to the other spokes of the bird cage. Because of that, in this Egyptian – if it is an Egyptian – culture, they all knew they were part of the ballet, they knew there was no inequity, they knew there was no chance, coincidence, accidents and all that. It wasn’t for the king to become a plowman or the plowman to become a carpenter – because – and because they all retained their prime connection to the INSPEC, if you want to look at it that way, because they retained the primary connection to the whole, their first connection was to the whole and not to each other. They were distant, in a way that we would find cold and maybe inexplicable, but it’s because that mode of being [i.e., a mode of being that would relate primarily to each other] hadn’t developed yet.

If that’s not clear, ask me and I think I can rephrase it. If it is clear, I’ll go on to something else.

S: All right.

F: Which?

S: Yeah, I think I understand that, and again because it’s recorded, you can pick apart the different explanations – you’ve tried on several different explanations, it’s like trying on several different coats to say, “well, which one seems to fit best?” you know, the situation here. Um, in a few more minutes – you have some time but in a few more minutes it will be time to return. I wanted to remind you about asking about your book and jacket or your book and see if they can’t give you just some over-all big chunky idea-concepts rather than the exact words that should be there.

F: That’s right. Although they’re well capable of giving me the words too; they’ve done it.

Yes, what I want to know – thank you – is, how do we aim the book so that the people who can profit from it will be attracted to it? How do we say what the book is in such a way as to leave the hook out there for the person who would like it? Who would – who need – who wants it? How do we make it a beacon to them, sort of?

There is a class of people now to whom the question of what is real is the most important thing in their life. It has come to dominate their being, because everything else pales into insignificance. They can’t see any point in creating a career or having a family or doing anything if it may turn out to be illusory. This seeming – this seeming obstacle to their path is actually their path, but some of them could use a way of thinking about it that would liberate them from worrying about it. In other words, here’s a book that says, “this person went out and trusted, and sincerely looked and found, and every step of the way he says to you, `here’s a resource; try this. Here’s a resource; try that. When I did this, this is what happened. When I did this, this is what happened.’ And provides the reader the reassurance that in fact their own internal guidance is available and will come forth. It requires their own faith, but the faith will be rewarded. Aimed at – aimed – (um. that word aimed is wrong, I can’t figure out what the right word is.) Starting from that point of view, then it just becomes a matter of saying a couple of things about the resources involved in the book. The resources explored in the book. But the main thing is, this book is for the people whose life has grown pale for lack of meaning. And this book is a reassurance that the meaning can be found, and that you yourself will find it meaningful because it will be your meaning. not someone else’s meaning. This is really all that needs to be said, and the word of mouth on the book will carry it, because these searchers are finding each other. Needless to say it will be worked on, as well, on the Upstairs level, because those people will know to find it. They’ll find it fortuitously.

Well that went by pretty quickly but I think I got it. I mean, it’s on the tape, so I think what they said will do it.

S: All right. Enjoy a few minutes of silence and gratitude, and I’ll let you know when it’s time to return.

F: All right, thanks Skip. [pause] Think I’ll go check in on Bertram again. I’ll be back. [pause] That’s what “brother in Christ” meant. We’ve forgotten what it meant. [long pause]

[Loud wheezing sounds of my long breathing.] [cough] God am I cold.

S: Okay, you ready to return? Would you like to explore this cold some?

F: Oh, no, we’re all right.

[etc. as Skip begins returning me. long pause]

A couple of minutes ago I was realizing that I never really empty my lungs. I suddenly heard this wheezing sound and I realized it’s almost as though there’s things that have never been emptied.

[Skip counts me down]

F: Just out of curiosity, have you been counting me down every session?

S: Certainly.

F: [laughs] I don’t remember ever hearing it before.

[etc.]

[Final segment –debriefing — in post for 5-28-07]