Session three of ten (debrief)
Friday, September 29, 2000
Skip: When you said, “this is a metaphor, but they’re trying to polarize me –“
F: I got a sense that they were – the only way I can say it is that they were lining up all the cells, and lining up the energy, so that the energy would be transmitted more smoothly.
S: Okay, and this was in conjunction with the emergence of the cold energy?
F: Yeah, it was. As that came up my – coming from my feet, moving up; it took a long time to get to my knees… [coughing]
S: The emergence of the energy brought back to you this concept of polarizing you, all right? I mean, that was the way you said –
F: That’s’ what it felt like. That was the best analogy I could do.
S: Okay, see, there was also a pun in there –
F: Oh, polar! Ooh, I missed that! Ooh. Polar-ized.
S: Because you went to the south pole last time, and they were trying to polar-ize you. And so I thought that, isn’t that interesting, there’s a tie-in there between the two sessions. Not only did you have the sense of magnetic polar alignment or cellular polar alignment or something, but the last time it was even more subtle, in that this is a trip to the pole – so you were getting polarized.
F: In fact, there was one time, I don’t know whether I mentioned it or not, that it briefly felt like I was in the middle of a ice cavern again, as it had before, last session. I HATE it when people make puns and I don’t even —
S: [laughs] I thought it was really, again, sometimes Guidance speaks that way, quite indirectly, and so I’m wondering about this idea of a crystal, and what the crystal meant. Because I think of the verb form they’re trying to crystallize this point, trying to make this clear for you.
F: Maybe. I know, when my brother and sister were here we went up to Rick’s and we bought a bunch of crystals, and I’ve been playing with those things, I love ‘em. In fact I’m going to go buy some more. You know, to use them, hold them in my hands and all that. There’s something about it I really like a lot, and I never really had anything to do with crystals. A little bit when I was with Nancy, because she had them around all the time, and I used some of them in healing sessions, but somehow that seems to be more of the flavor of the day. [coughs] IU don’t think of crystals as crystallizing something as much as I think of them as transducers. Whether they are or not, I don’t know.
S: Yeah, I think that the electromagnetic description of them is that of a transducer. You think of the old crystal radios we used to build, and stuff like that, and the idea of transmuting some form of energy into another form of energy, and – I mean, that seems to fit not only in terms of – it has a particular frequency that keys into an electronic circuit loop that then tunes in a particular radio frequency, but also in terms of light, it transmutes the white light into the colors of the rainbow. So there are concepts of that there too, but the crystal itself is growing, living, it’s a form of life in and of itself that’s very unique. Because you know they physically grow.
F: I forgot about that. Yes, and it doesn’t look like it’s alive.
F: I think we are crystals, in a way. Here. Bodies are crystals, metaphorically, transducing energies. And I’m not exactly – I don’t know where to go with that, but that’s what came when you said that. [coughs] In the beginning of the session, I was relaxing and I could feel myself going up, almost as if it was going to be an OBE, and I didn’t care what happened one way or another, but – then I don’t know how to describe the experience. The experience was as though my self was moving upwards, like from the chest outwards [toward a point in front of me], but then also from the sides of the chest outwards [toward the same point] and from the – well, I don’t know about the other dimension, like from the navel or the head or something, but I remember something sideways, and I said like forming a pyramid, and I couldn’t wrap any words around it.
S: That was in the very beginning.
F: In the very beginning, yeah. It happened right away. [several sneezes throughout this part]
S: Well look at in the very beginning, I mean, it was like predestined that something was going to happen this session. I mean, it was just a plummet. The minute you got hooked up, even before we began resonant tuning, you were just “Dive, dive!” you know. So there was no doubt that you were on your way, we just had to wait the time for the time to pass, but that you were just on your way, just plummeted on down there. You were also very warm when you started, and you maintained that. Here’s when you had a kind of choking spell, and dipped down there.
F: When I was coughing then, is when it drops like that, the red line?
S: Right. I mean, physical movement makes your blood vessels close down. But you were already quite warm.
F: Now – I always get this backwards. This — down is toward warmth?
S: Colder. Normally we see a red line start off down here and warm up. But you were already warm.
F: I see. Yeah, I was hot to go.
S: But when you physically would move or adjust, then it would drop down.
F: I see. Yes, and I did move once in a while…
S: And then you GSR curving right down, getting more and more emotionally separate. I mean it was just fine, it was a perfect session in terms of electrically the way you performed. And you did very good in reporting. I wanted to ask you to, when you listen to your tape, to pay attention to a few things that I noticed. One was the crystal concept, one was the polarization concept, and then your choice of words of “getting yourself together again,” and I don’t know—
F: When did I say that?
S: You said, “I’m off on an adventure, and then I have to get myself together again and explain what happened.” And so it’s like, well isn’t that interesting? The idea that you realized – it’s sort of an interesting choice of words, in terms of getting yourself together. Do you mean your adventuring mind back to your body, getting yourself together that way, or was it just an off-the-wall expression? So when you re-listen to your tape, listen to the – see the context in which it gets said.
F: Yeah, I will. I don’t remember using the expression. I remember very much the falling off the bicycle that way, because I kept – it was an easy session where things would happen, and I would – and every so often I would think, “oh wait a minute, you’re supposed to be recording some of this, you know.” I’d come back, and I’d – not out of a sense of obligation, but I knew I wanted to bring it back – and so it was – it was wild. It wasn’t wild, it was natural.
S: What about this stuff with your looking at some experiences of your childhood from outside yourself and remembering it differently now than you have remembered it before?
F: No, that’s not what I mean. I mean that looking at those experiences of childhood – with the exception of the time that I almost drowned, and then I realized that the reason that I’ve always seen when they got me to shore, I’ve always seen that from behind and above, and I thought oh yeah, that’s because that’s how I saw it then! But I hadn’t ever put it together before. But otherwise I meant that I was looking at, there were incidents in my childhood, mostly things in school, where the kids were in a matrix that I wasn’t in, and I never did understand what the hell was going on, half the time. Much like actually is in your manuscript; it may be that’s it’s more common than I thought.
S: Well, but there’s a metaphorical thing here that maybe’s trying to be explained. You were apart from your body in childhood as you were apart from society in another context.
F: I don’t know whether that follows from what I said, but that’s an accurate statement.
S: Now, let’s throw all that out, like it was a pile of garbage right now, and go back to the childhood drowning experience. You said that before, whenever you’d recalled that, you’d always seen it from up and behind, watching yourself being pulled out of the water. Is that what you said?
F: No, not quite. But close. Everything else, waving my hands and all that, was from within my body, but there was a point where I must have about lost consciousness, because the only way I’ve ever seen them carrying me – I mean, upright, I wasn’t totally gone, but you know how people would carry you, sideways. The only way I’ve ever seen that is from a point of view behind and above my body.
S: And then you said, just now, you just said “and I’ve never connected that before.” What do you mean by that?
F: Oh, I’m sorry. It’s obvious to me now, and I can’t quite understand why it wasn’t obvious 10 years ago, now that I see it; that tells me that I was outside my body at that point. And of course I wouldn’t have any concept for it when I was 12 years old, but I’ve had the concept for a long time and I never went back and examined it. I think I may have said on the tape, this is like Joe talks about one of those experiences that you sort of put off to the side because you don’t know what to do with it.
S: Right. And I wanted to expand on that. I don’t know if you asked during the session, but it’s certainly something that’s worth thinking about. Did something very special happen to you in that window of no-time? Were there experiences, personal flashes forward, life review –?
F: I did ask that. I didn’t get anything there. I mean I didn’t get any – but what did happen is I began bouncing backward and forwards: That’s what led to those other things about my life, the other anomalous experiences; the one when I was 10, the one when I was seven, you know, and then those other things that were in school which weren’t that same thing…. I had exactly that same question in mind, you know, “all right, what went on while I was out of the body?”
S: Well it might be that the answer wasn’t given. It might be there’s going to be more there—
F: I agree with that. That’s my feeling too. It was there, and I didn’t press for it, because it wasn’t on the agenda.
S: Yeah. Right. In regular psychology they talk about resolving cognitive dissonance? So you had this little breakthrough of “oh! I’ve never put this together before! Oh!” And so maybe that has to soak in a little while, or something .
F: I wouldn’t be surprised. And there’s a couple of other things that are connected here too. Notice how I wasn’t coughing in there and I’m coughing like crazy here? I’ll tell you sometime about Ed Carter’s and my experience with that. Well, I’ll tell you now, I guess. I was coughing for like two weeks, it was incredible. This was the winter of ‘95-96 when Ed and I shared an apartment for a while. And we did a session with the Guys Upstairs, and I said, “sure I’ll be glad to,” I like doing it. So we did one side of tape and I stood up to go to the bathroom while he was going to swap the tape, and he said, “do you have anything you want to ask,” and I said, “yeah, how come as soon as I – while we’re talking to them I’m not coughing and as soon as we stop I’m coughing again.” [coughs] Before I got to the bathroom door I knew the answer. [coughs] Or at least I got an answer from them. The answer is, we are a combination of not only different bodies but different mental states, and every combination of a mental state with a body makes a certain condition. And you can change your mental state and instantly change your physical condition, but – oh shit! And I never connected this with what Paul told me last week – But it’s hard to do and it’s transient, because you have to maintain it all the time. Whereas with the physical, you can change the physical only slowly but it persists, it maintains. It’s exactly the – the connector with what Paul said. So I’ve only been told – told myself this, five years ago. For me that’s practically instantaneous. [Both laugh.]
S: Well, here’s your tape, and here’s your chart –
F: I tell you, I think one reason the session went so well, I went into it with zero expectations.
F: I thought well, very likely it might be nothing happen today.
F: And I thought, “well, so what?” Thank you.