Session two of ten
Friday, September 15, 2000
[Background. This session not at 9 a.m. as the first, but at 11 a.m., which gave me time to have drunk a couple of cups of coffee beforehand, and time to talk to TGU in my journal, who said in part: “Continue to expect the unexpected, but continue, also, to be prepared for the unexpected to be – blankness. Nothingness. It could happen.” I replied, “But I’d bet not. It is the expectation you are trying to manage,” and they said, merely, “you know our methods, Watson.”]
Skip had no objection to my recording our post-session debriefing, and so I did.
After resonant tuning and relaxation into Focus 10, at one point I became so relaxed that I had to force myself to breathe, to pull in air.
We went to F12, and I commented that I had a vivid sense of our surroundings for the first time. I expanded my awareness outside the black box, outside the lab building, past the fence in one direction, past David Francis Hall and the driveway in another. I had rarely expanded to such an acute awareness of the physical surroundings. Usually I expand to an awareness in other dimensions.
This in a way set a theme for the session, for the next thing I commented on was a sense of how we live in the midst of webs of relationships, and every motion disturbs in all directions. When Skip asked me to ask Guidance what is the most valuable, the most important experience for me in that moment, I got an active sense of being in the middle – as we are all in the middle – of vast webs of relationships, laterally in space, deeply in time.
We’re all one thing. Even the extended units (individuals) like us are all one thing not only because we’re all coming out of one thing (INSPEC, or God, or however you care to define the underlying reality in which we live and move and have our being) but because on this end – in physical-matter reality – we interrelate. The analogy that came to mind was a magnet moving among iron filings. Every movement aligns everything around it. “We can’t move without affecting – everything, really. It often doesn’t seem like it,, but it’s true,” because what you touch immediately changes, and then it immediately changes what it touches, all around. “It’s like a dance –” That’s what is the most important thing to remember: myself in the middle of vast webs of relationships.
Sometimes, something that seems insignificant can have totally transforming qualities. As I put it, sometimes you can do as much by wiggling a toe – if it thereby causes others to move – than by moving yourself. Skip suggested that I was using doing verbs; what of being verbs? I said, they are the same thing. What we are affects everybody around us. Changing is an action but it’s also a being. As you change colors the whole picture changes. As you change polarity, all electromagnetic structure changes. This goes to my old dilemma of being vs. doing. To me being is doing, but sometimes I wonder about it. But one of the attributes of being is what one does. The distinction is in the language, but it isn’t real. We can’t be without doing, and can’t do without being. They’re the same.
I suggested we go to f15, and Skip said “Yes, do that now, opening your heart, expanding from your heart, to focus 15.” That was the right thing to say, open from the heart. I was wondering about my relationship to certain people – looking not for a travelogue of past lives, but wondering about the significance now. The same web idea came. It’s like a network: we all tie everything together, past, present, future, sideways, etc. by connections through the heart. It’s like we set up a network. I got an image of a sponge.
[Skip: Ask guidance for the most important, most valuable experience for right now.]
“A vast flattened dish, or bowl in shape. Solid colored, metallic looking. Somewhere between a planet and a spaceship. On other words, full of beings – or one being, depending on how you want to look at it. Part of us, observing.” I had counted myself up to Focus 35. “I have a sense of this thing – it may be just an analogy – no, it’s not an analogy. It is one of the unsuspected background presences to our lives. Benign.”
I saw all physical reality as one thing, redundantly interconnected. “We see it as independent, just as we see each other as independent, but in another way it’s all hooked together. We can’t see that part. I can’t quite envision it either. Nothing really moves, it’s just – ” [But then I lost the idea. I asked, what’s the point of my seeing – feeling – this.] “As above, so below. Just another example, in a way people don’t think of.”
I had been reading of Kepler’s idea of the spinning sun pulling the planets around like something creating invisible currents that somehow hold everything together. We see the crystallized material and don’t see the not-crystallized rest of it. It’s just as real, but not solid. Not quite matter, or rather, matter is deeper than we think, it has more extensions.
[I asked: “And the point is what?”] I got a sense of the value of bringing ideas and enthusiasm. It is as much creation as anything else, it gives other people traction. I can do that. Seeing differently and then reporting, so others can stand there and they’ll see differently. Part of my job – my task.
[Skip and I then discussed my brother and sister’s upcoming visit the next week.]
When we questioned the meaning of the return of pressure in my ears, I had to laugh, because I got an image of my head being too full of things that I needed to let out. Express some of it, in other words.
I began feeling waves of cold throughout my body, though, as I said, “I’ll bet my skin temperature [being recorded during the session] doesn’t show it.” [Skip: What are you to understand from the experience?] I’m still not paying enough attention to the physical body. Some things need work.”
So what was the most important thing I’m not thinking to ask about? Timing. Appropriate action at the appropriate time. A sense that more pro-active activity is needed and worthwhile.
Waves of cold overcame me, from the feet and out the shoulders. [Skip: Welcome the energy in, and rather than concern yourself about meaning and understanding, experience it, join with the energy.] The cold was running just under the skin, like the equivalent of a glow. It was like being a neon tube. “Now changing to background warmth, just under the skin. Static; no, moving again. I have lost contact with certain parts of the body.” I could feel my hands, but not my elbows.
[Skip: Ask Guidance why I’m experiencing this.] “Deeper connection. An identification. First thought Antarctica – like some explorer or something, but it’s like the chill of death. Man, it’s freezing! Like deep freeze. When they freeze people alive, or outer space – that kind of cold.” I was aware of the cold, and my hands and my head, and almost nothing else.
[Skip: explore the cold?] “I am questioning it. Jumping to the conclusion about Antarctica. Fascinated by it, but that’s where my mind is going. Not Arctic or Alaska. It’s like solid ice, that cold. There’s nothing wrong with whoever’s experiencing it. It’s okay, maybe even desired. But cold, just waves of cold.” [Skip: Move into the cold, make your presence known] “It just changed, blanket-y feeling now. Not warm, not cold. [The cold returned] Spoke too soon. If you were walking through ice caves, might feel like this. Sense of that. Maybe too strange for concept.”
Then I needed to come out, early, because my bladder seemed painfully full. It was very uncomfortable – which I found suspicious.
[Debrief to follow, next post]